“Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.” ~Louise Hay
I grew up in a divorced household. I had little hope of ever finding the love of my life. Deep down inside, however, I really wished that I could find someone who meant the world to me.
I didn’t have a very good idea what a functioning marriage looked like. My mother was bitter about her divorce and my father’s multiple marriages seemed superficial to me. This was how I saw marriage and relationships. Except this was only my perception. And, when I thought that love was hard to get, I closed all the doors to love. I shut out any chance at finding true love.
I found examples of relationships that were meaningful, romantic and ever-lasting. I then saw love and relationships in a new light. My perception had changed. As soon as that happened, I believed that I was capable and willing to love. Then, I was able to give and receive love. It was in my own power.
Have you ever been on a date with someone and all they do is complain? Maybe they are rude to the waitress or simply in a bad mood the whole time. Or, if you’re already in a relationship, remember a time when you and your partner had an argument? It’s so unattractive! You don’t want to be around the person. Everything feels tense. It’s uncomfortable. It’s really hard to give and receive love in these situations. The doors to love are closed or are closing.
It’s easy to blame the other person when a date or relationship doesn’t work out. The date went bad because the other person was terrible. Or, a break-up happens after the other person does something hurtful. What is the first thing we want when our partner is mad at us? We want them to forgive us and understand where we’re coming from . We want our partners to love us unconditionally – even when we’re in a bad mood. But… are we willing to give that back to our partner? When we’re mad at them, can we be the one to forgive, forget and love unconditionally. You’ll see that when you do offer this for the other person, you’ve opened the door for love to flow again.
If it’s been awhile since you’ve been in a relationship, it’s common to lose faith and hope. It’s really easy to become bitter, angry or disappointed after a relationship turns sour. Forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you made in the past that you feel are holding you back from allowing love into your life. Forgive those who have caused you heartache. Forget about experiences you may have had that led you to believe you weren’t worthy of giving and having love.